i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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