wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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