i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
