did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
