Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
