me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
