walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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