Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
