All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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