I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
