So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
