I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
