I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
