Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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