Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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