Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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