I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
