I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
