There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
