So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
