and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
