I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize