So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
