I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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