i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
