Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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