I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
