Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
