Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
