I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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