she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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