I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize