There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
