i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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