He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize