This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
