Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
