This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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