Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
