I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
