just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
