I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
