girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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