Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
