She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
