Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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