he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
