I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
