This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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