WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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