Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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