I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Me too!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
