I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
