"it" just moved
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
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So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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