Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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