he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
